Surreal is the only word to describe my mornings. The place I run, has countless textures and shades of green. As the sun comes up and creeps through the crevices of the plant life, everything changes minute by minute. A pair of dragonfies will decided to come with me and my dogs for a while, flying along side until they are bored, then they fly away. A squirrel will run up the side of a tree with its high pitched voice. I always talk back to them, and they look you right in the face with no fear. I never want the morning runs to end.
I made a comment to one of my dearest friends the other day that I never miss anyone. I have always been one to cherish moments alone. I need to be alone to be creative. I have been drowning in social time lately and it absolutely eats me from inside and whatever of me is left is rotted out. My metamorphise is painful and grueling. Anyway, my friend was somewhat taken back when I made the missing someone comment. Here is my take on that. ONLY MY opinion, but I believe that missing someone is just another selfish act. I have no time to "dwell" on anything, therefore I don't miss anyone when they are gone. I enjoy the times I am with people, providing they are positive and confident. But I believe it is useless to waste time on "missing". "In love", jealousy, missing/longing, hate, all take so much energy. If you are consumed by these emotions they will leave you empty inside. I, personally, can't afford the time for any of that. Oh yea, and if you think about it, "excuses" take a lot of energy as well. By the time you have explained why you can't do something you could have done it. Just admit you don't want to do it. I sure do.
Since I sit here working all day I have the TV on most of the time. I love the "Chiller" channel. It is continuous scarey programing. Old movies, Alfred Hitchcock, Night Gallery, Tales from the crypt. I guess I should not say it inspires me. That might scare some of my clients, no? I also like to watch the cable news channels but damn, there is so much negative news. I guess that's what news is suppose to show is all the bad things that are happening. Is this because people get bored with good things? Or are we suppose to focus on the bad stuff in hopes that it will make people try to make things better? Am I just totally off my rocker?? Watch that "Cops" show, man, if that won't make you thankful for your life, nothing will. I put a mirror up on my wall in front of my crystal table so I don't have to turn around all the time to watch the boob tube. So when I actually watch the television in the house, EVERYTHING IS BACKWARDS!
For any of you that actually read this blog, it is soooooo difficult for me to write what goes on in this crazy head of mine. Time for me to go back to work!